A middle-aged cacophonist with a bit of a gut offers cheeseburgers, hot off the grill, to the runners.
The Los Angeles Cacophony Society refused to be daunted by constantly changing routes and again found the easiest location at which we could establish our rest stop.
Along with donuts, beer, cigarettes, cheeseburgers, and lap dances, we offered inspiring slogans, such as: "Halt for Office of Homeland Security Checkpoint" and "The Shortcut is to the LEFT."
Why do we try? Because we care. Some runners did stop to indulge in our varied temptations, and others tried to assault us, but we were able to outrun them, despite being out of shape, because we were well rested and they weren't.
Venus de Midol takes a well-deserved rest after serving up her 20th lap dance.
Chris offers a large pastry.
Walt and Christina, looking smart in their bathrobes, offer beer to the passing runners.
photo by Psychocats
The 2001 rest stop presented us with a challenge: should our renunciation of our old ways include the one of the few acts of kindness that the old society performed? We decided that even a bad tree can produce a good apple now and then, and continued with what is becomming--even if it is uncool to admit it--a tradition.
Gathering near mile 22 of the marathon, where all the runners showed strain, we offered them chairs, beer, cigarettes, chips, donuts, candy and massages. This year, thanks to past experience, we were able to distribute donuts with greater efficiency, using the fishing pole technique from the start. Michael Perrick logged his own personal best, getting a runner to snag a donut before any of the rest of us. Michael's time: 11 a.m. For the next few hours we offered not only material charity but spiritual encouragement as well, including: "Think about it," "Is this how you like to spend your weekend?" "L. Ron Hubbard wants you to lose," "Have a seat," "Take a load off," "You look so thin!" "Don't you want a nice, cold beer?" "Have a power smoke," "Would you like to put on this ankle weight?" "Sit down and read the Sunday paper," and, of course, "Here, have a donut."
Some runners misunderstood our gesture, and one even grabbed one of Randy Montano's inspiring signs--the one that said STOP: INS CHECKPOINT--and threw it into the parking lot of the abandoned Arab Cultural Center. Others stopped to have their pictures taken with us.
Here is one of the signs Randy made to help encourage the runners as they neared the end of the marathon. It was raining in 2000, so we didn't go that year. We're not die-hards.
